Understanding the concept of ‘Liminal Time’ and how it can benefit us
In early June 2024 I stumbled across an Eventbrite ad for a full day workshop to explore the “Power of Liminal Time”. What on Earth is Liminal Time? My interest piqued.
I’d never heard about it before; the event details went on to describe how this concept, which has been developed by Isabel Russo and Fran Hall from ‘The Good Funeral Guide’, explores in simple stages the key time between a death occurring and the time leading up to the funeral ceremony.
It refers to a time of transition in our lives, just like you would describe sunrise and sunsets to be liminal (transitional) times of the day.
I was keen to learn more. So I negotiated a full day off from parental duties – and scheduled an entire Sunday to immerse myself in thinking and learning more about these key stages of anticipatory loss, the physical act of death and the time thereafter.
When I arrived, I found an intimate group of strangers.
We were a mix, from all different walks of life, connected by an invisible thread – our mutual interest in death, and how to understand it better.
Some were industry professionals, others had suffered profound loss – or were anticipating it.
We would spend the next seven hours unpicking, reflecting on and exploring our own experiences of loss and grief. It was confronting, we were vulnerable and there was a raw honestly very rarely experienced in the polite conversation we tend to get by with in our day to day lives.
Did you know, on average in the UK it takes around 3 weeks from a death occurring until the funeral ceremony?
Through their vast experience working within the arena of death, Russo and Hall have identified thirteen stages within this period of time, and we spent our day working through each of them one by one.
It was fascinating, thought provoking and eye opening. This period of time, immediately after the death of a loved one is so often fraught with immense pressure – emotionally and physically. And here we were, surveying how when it is recognised, acknowledged and broken down, we can alleviate overwhelm and transform it into one of the most profound experiences of our lives.
We considered how to encourage meaningful conversations before death. How we could communicate sensitively and efficiently with the person dying so that we aren’t left with regrets.
We shared our own grief and laid bare our own struggles in adjusting to lives without loved ones. We contemplated our relationships with family and friends now and then We discussed how we could improve those relationships so that it will benefit us in this life moving forward.
We comforted each other.
Overall, it was insightful and inspiring.
Our little group vowed to stay in touch – and we have.
It was an extraordinary day and I have thought about it a lot since.
Described as ‘a 13 step guide to anchor and support you when someone you love, dies’, Hall and Russo offer the teaching as an experiential workshop or on a one-to-one-basis in personal sessions. They hope to provide the insight as a coping toolkit for those anticipating loss, those who work in end of life care, or those just wishing to gain a better understanding of life and our approach to death.
